Looney Melodies
by missjessyleeann
Summary: a series of one shots that may or may not have anything to do with each other; classic verse, sorta; more details on profile
1. Chapter 1

Daffy Duck was walking, for he was bored and there was nothing else to do. He soon came across a thrift shop, and so looked in the window at the signs. 'Buy Stuff' read one. Boring. Then he spotted a second one. 'Sell Your Stuff For $$$$'. His eyes instantly became dollar signs, before rushing into the shop. The duck soon exited holding a large wad of cash, plus missing his chest, back, and most of his wing feathers.

Daffy was soon passed by a familiar gray bunny, who entered the store the mallard had just left. Bugs soon came out of the building, wearing a black boa made of-

''My feathersth!'' Daffy quickly got over his shock, then approached the rabbit. ''Thosth are my feathersth!''

''Are 'dey now?'' Bugs replied with a smirk.

''Yesth! I demand you pay me!''

''But I already paid. And I know the store paid you.''

''If I knew you were going to buy my feathesth I would've-''

''You would've what?'' Bugs interrupted. Daffy simply stared, bill agape, pointing at the hare, before calming himself.

''Why buy my feathersth anywaysth?''

''Well, dere's dis big shindig coming up, and I wore a suit for the last two I went to, so dis time I'm wearin' a dress. I figure a boa would go nicely wit' it.''

''Stho thisth party, do you get a plusth one?'' asked Daffy in an obvious attempt at nonchalance.

''Hmmm...'' the rabbit brought a handful of feather boa to his face as he thought, ''I don't know.'' The bunny then smiled sweetly at the fowl, dispite said bird poking him in the chest.

''Find out.''


	2. Chapter 2

WARNING : the following chapter contains double entendres

/

Sylvester was chasing Tweety,same as always. But he actually managed to catch the bird.

''Gotcha!'' The cat held the canary close to his face. ''I've been dreaming of thisth for a while.''

''You dweam about me?'' asked Tweety with a smirk.

''Wait, what!? No, not like that!''

''So you just want me for my body.''

''TWEETY!'' the feline's tail poofed out.

''Well, you do.'' the yellow bird pointed out, his grin finally noticed by the black and white cat. Realization dawned on Sylvester.

''Well, I wasth planning on making thisth quick, but I sthuposth I can draw this out.'' the feline played along.

''You mean you wanna pway games?''

''Sthure, how about sthandwich. I haven't sthmotherd you in a while.''

''Fwankwy, I'd wather just pound you and get it over with.''

''Wha-'' Sylvester's eye's widened, causing Tweety to laugh.

''Can I go now?''

''Hmmm...'' the cat looked thoughtful for a moment, then licked the bird. The feline let go and walked away. Curiosity overcame the canary, so he flew to Sylvester, landed on his head, then began petting behind his ear. The red nosed cat purred.


	3. Chapter 3

Queen Tyr'ahnee of Mars was walking, alone in the woods. She was not on Mars for Mars had no woods. She was not sure which planet she was on, and her communication device was not working. She thought she saw somthing out of the corner of her eye, so turned. Her snow white hair stood on end as she spun and ran, for there was someone lurking in the shadows brandishing a rusty knife.

The queen ran for hours, not stopping till the sky had changed from blue to violet. She was still in the woods. As she caught her breath, she noticed a cabin. She crept closer to it, only to get her leg caught in a bear trap. Maybe she was on Earth? But she was sure Earth trees didn't have purple leaves. She tried to get her leg unstuck when she relized a rifle was pointed at her head.

/

Tyr'ahnee gasped and rose so suddenly from her bed that her pillow flew in the opposite direction. She sat calming herself, then declared to no one the lesson she learned from her nightmare.

''That's the last time I eat Jovian kumquats before bed.''

...

A/N : yeah, she's in this


	4. Chapter 4

Sylvester was chasing Tweety again, in the desert, where Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner were doing the same. The land bird stopped upon seeing the canary, and beeped a greeting.

''Oh hey!'' answered the smaller bird, before flying higher, adding ''We might want to move now.'' Roadie sidestepped just in time, as the cat and coyote crashed into each other. As Sylvester rubbed his nose he heard Wile mumble.

''Sorry.''

''Oh, you're talking today?'' asked the feline.

''Meh.''

''Beep beep, beep beep.''

''What about Mawvin?'' asked Tweety, landing on Sylvester's head.

''Sthpeaking of Marvin, what'sth with the tutu?''

''And the bwoom on his hewmet?!''

''Do you think he gets helmet hair?'' asked Wile.

''You are all making me very angry.'' Everyone's eye's widened, finally noticing Marvin standing there, exept the Roadrunner, who already knew, and thus looked bored. Until the Martian pulled out a laser and zapped the cat, canary, and coyote, causing Roadie's feathers to stand on end. The alien put the two mammals and small bird in a spaceship, each in seperate rooms, and different traps. Tweety was in a cage, without a swing! Sylvester was tied up in yarn, and Wile was hand-cuffed with laser chains. What nobody noticed was that the Roadrunner snuck on the ship before it took off. The blue feathered bird ran through the halls of the spacecraft, until he found the coyote. The bird pecked at a screen releasing the canine. Roadie then sliped his wing around Wile's arm and zoomed around the ship, looking for the others.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N ; continued from last chapter

/

Wile E. Coyote typed a code, opening the room Sylvester was in.

''Isth the yarn sthupposthed to be ironic?''

''Most likely,'' answered the coyote, pulling the wool off the cat, causing him to spin like Taz.

''I think I'm gonna be sthick.''

''Don't you dare,'' warned Wile, grabbing the feline by the back, the canine's other arm entangled with the wing of the Roadrunner, who zoomed off, looking for Tweety. They soon found the room the canary was in, but it was guarded by instant martians, so they hid behind a corner.

''Wait, why is Tweety the only one guarded?'' asked a confused Wile.

''Who knowsth.''

''We could just leave,'' pointed out the coyote, causing Roadie to beep angrily, and Sylvester to complain.

''No, who would I chasthe!?''

''Speedy?''

''But Tweety tasthtesth better!''

''Fine.'' It was decided they needed a destraction, so the land bird ran past the martians, causing them to chase him. Meanwhile Wile figured out the code, releasing the small bird.

''I'm fwee!''

''You're coming with me!''

''Weally?''

''Stop rhyming!'' whispered the coyote. And so Tweety was in Sylvester's paws, whose tail was grabbed by Wile, whose other arm was held by the Roadrunner, who ran dragging everyone with him, until they heard a familiar voice.

''I see you have all managed to escape.'' There stood Marvin, surrounded by instant martian dancers. ''We will be landing on Earth shortly, then you may leave.''

''That'sth it!? We can go?'' asked the cat, still holding the bird, who looked bored.

''Did you want me to experiment on you?''

''NO!'' yelled Tweety and Sylvester at the same time, fur and feathers poofing up.

/

A/N ; about the instant martians, the guards were fom the classic shorts, and the dancers were from the TLTS song ''I'm a Martian''


	6. Chapter 6

A car drove in the snow. It parked, and out of the driver's seat stepped Pepe Le Pew.

''Ah, here ve are! Ze motel looks cozy, no?''

''Oui, cozy,'' responded Penelope, holding her breath as she exited the vehicle, soon followed by Tweety, Sylvester, Speedy, and another mouse.

''Air!'' gasped the bird.

''Sthweet, sthweet air!''

''We shall live!'' yelled the fast rodent, only to notice the other mouse mumbling to herself. ''Que pasa?''

''Es tan frio, I think I'm going to turn into a mouse-cicle.'' This phrase caused the cats present to fantasize about frozen mice treats.

''Mira, Tweety,'' began Speedy, ''Carmella needs to get to the room quick, could you bring the suitcases?''

''Well-''

''Gracias!'' Speedy rushed off, carrying the female mouse.

''What if I taid no?'' wondered Tweety aloud, as he gathered tiny suitcases.

Meanwhile, Pepe approached the lady cat with an offer.

''I'll be in room 'quatre, trois, trois', in case you-''

''Got it!'' she responded. As she gathered her bags, Sylvester noticed Tweety wobbling with several small cases.

''You need help with thosth?''

''So you can find out what woom I'm in? I don't tink so Putty!''

The male cat shrugged and followed the female feline to the 'cat' room. The bird, meanwhile, made it to the room he was to share with the mice.

''Is about time you got here,'' stated the fast mouse.

'''Peedy, can I talk to you outide?'' asked the canary, soon joined by the quick rodent. ''You could of come back to hewp.''

''Sorry.''

...

The next day, Carmella went out for a walk, this time dressed in warm clothes, as well as a ruby heart necklace, only to be stopped by the French skunk

''Bonjour, Mademoiselle, might I borrow your necklace to have a similar one made for Penelope?'' The mouse did not answer, for she was holding her breath, so she simply handed over the jewelry. ''Merci.''

Meanwhile, Tweety was putting on a hat and scarf, when Speedy noticed all the bird's items were black and white. The Mexican rodent was about to comment on this, but changed his mind at the last second, instead asking where the canary was going.

''There's a contest down the tweet, I wanna tee if I can win the mytewy pwize!''

Later, Sylvester was walking, wondering aloud, ''Why'd we even come on thisth trip?'' when he was answered out of nowhere by Tweety.

''We needed a vacation after being abducted by Mawvin last chapter.''

'' Where'd you get the bike?''

''I won!''

...

''YOU LOST MY NECKLACE!'' screamed Carmella. Pepe apologized, and Speedy volonteered to find the trinket, helped by the yellow searched for over an hour.

''Find anyting yet?''

''Nada.''

''I found lunch!'' exclaimed Sylvester, ready to pounce.

...

A/N ; CLIFFHANGER! also Carmella is not an oc, she was in the classic short, ''West of the Pesos''


	7. Chapter 7

A/N ; continued from last chapter

/

''Vamanos!'' yelled Speedy as he ran. Tweety hopped on the tiny bike and-

''YEOWCH!'' Sylvester yowled in pain as his foot was run over.

''Had the tilly ting in reverse!'' explained the canary with a sheepish smile, before driving off in the direction he had intented all along. The cat fell into the snow, and was soon approached by Penelope.

''Still can't catch them?'' she teased. The male feline would of responded but he found something in the snow. ''Oh, it's lovely!'' exclaimed the female cat, not noticing Pepe standing across the park, his tail, as well as the flowers he held, drooping.

...

The next day Tweety found an indoor birdbath. Why there was a birdbath inside a motel was anyone's guess. The point was the canary was bathing when-

''I taught I taw a Puttytat.'' He looked to his left and-''I did.'' He covered his chest, then continued talking. ''Do you have to spy on me bathing?''

''What'sth the big deal? Your usthually naked anywaysth.''

''The big deal is-'' the bird noticed something sparkling. ''Wait! Let me tee your paw.'' Sylvester brought up his paw, showing off what looked like a ring at first, but upon closer inspection it turned out to be Carmella's necklace. Tweety quickly dried off, with the cat's tail, then flew away to deliver the mouse sized jewelry.

The male feline went back to his room, running into Penelope, who was leaving, with a wagon filled with scented candles.

Apparently she was spending the evening with Pepe, and after a quick explanation the skunk was back to his old self, whispering sweet nothings between kisses.

Tweety, meanwhile, went back to the room he shared with the mice, only to notice they wanted to be alone. So he quietly placed the necklace on the bed next to them a snuck out.

Sylvester opened the door to find-

''Tweety? What are you-''

''Why is everyone making kissy-face today?!''

''It'sth Valentine'sth day.''

''Oh, wight...heh, heh...so, can I 'tay here tonight?''

''Sthure, I could usthe a midnight sthnack!'' The cat licked his lips, causing the bird to roll his eyes, before smirking at an idea.

''Hey, Putty, kiss the wittle birdie!'' the canary teased, causing the feline to stare for about a minute, then dive under the yellow blanket he clearly brought from home. Tweety waited for Sylvester to try to catch him during the night, but the cat was fast asleep.

...

The next day, as the car was packed with suitcases and air fresheners, Sylvester noticed that everyone else were extremely tired.

''Didn't any of you sthleep lastht night?...Don't ansther that. I'm driving.''

Everyone piled into the car, only for it to back up and crash into a lamp post.

''Whoopsth! Had the sthilly thing in reversth!''

''Wow, Putty, you're tuch a gweat dwiver!'' said Tweety with a sleepy smirk, causing the male cat to mumble.

''Ah, shaddup.''

/

A/N ; HAPPY EARLY VALENTINES DAY!


	8. Chapter 8

The box from Acme sat there, in the sand, until Wile E. Coyote opened it to reveal a golden shovel, which he used to dig a hole, which he covered with a blanket, and then placed a plate filled with birdseed on top. Wile then hid behind a rock, and waited. The Roadrunner approached, ate the food, then ran off, the trap intact. The coyote sat there, confused, then crawled to the blanket. When he reached it, he heard voices.

''It'sth hot in here! I thought you sthaid your burrow had AC!''

''It does. 'Dis isn't my burrow.''

Wile pulled back the blanket to find two strange creatures in the hole. They both had rabbit ears, duck bills, and tails made of webbed feet? One of them was grey and white, the other was darker, and dressed in a skirt, tank top and bow, and had red hair. The coyote got over his shock and smirked.

''At least I caught something for dinner.''

''You can't eat us, we're on our honeymoon,'' pointed out the grey creature.

''I suppose it would be rude to eat a couple on their honeymoon.''

''Now you owe usth,'' stated the clothed one, ''We're going to your placeth.''

''If you can find it.''

''Is it that way?'' asked the grey whatever he was, pointing in a random direction, which happened to be the correct direction. Wile's stunned silence was all the answer the strange couple needed as they walked to the coyote's den.

''WAIT!'' yelled Wile, running after them, only to fall into the hole. When he climbed out he saw the two with the bottles of root beer he had been saving, and entering the burrow of Bugs Bunny. The coyote walked to his den, his ears drooped, when he heard a familiar voice.

''Meep!''

Wile turned and saw the Roadrunner holding a basket filled with cupcakes, which he handed over. The bird watched as the coyote ate the frosted treats.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N : sequel to ch 1

...

Bugs Bunney could be seen holding a dress, who he was seen by was no other than Daffy Duck, who soon made his presence known.

''Oh Bugsthy buddy!''

''What's up, Duck?''

''Did you find out if I could go to the party?''

''No.''

''No, you didn't find out, or no, I can't go?''

''I forgot to check...You mind turnin' 'round while I change?''

The duck turned and complained to himself, looking back when the hare made a sound, only for the bird's bill to fall to the floor. Why did the rabbit's outfit have to be so convincing. Bugs wore a blonde wig, in pigtails, with a green bow, dress and boots, as well as long gloves, and the boa made of Daffy's feathers. The mallard suddenly came out of the trance he was in when he felt a pinch.

''What wasth that for?''

''Cuz first, you were starin', second, you're not wearin' green, and third...this!'' Bugs answered while placing another feather in the wig.

''OK, firstht, I wasth not, sthecond, whatever, third, aren't you wearing enough of my feathersth?...and fourth, I'm going to that party!''

Soon they both were walking to the party. When they reached their destination, they saw Sylvester, standing outside, acting as bouncer. The rabbit handed a ticket to the cat then entered. The duck, meanwhile, was having a harder time with the feline, but managed to sneak in, noticing some of the other guests, such as the Roadrunner and Miss Prissy, before finding the hare, holding a drink and looking a bit out of it.

''How many of thosth did you have?''

''Beleventyteen,'' the lagomorph slurred, then promptly fainted on the fowl. Daffy muttered to himself as he noticed Tweety.

''Really?! You let Tweety in!?'' he shouted at Sylester, who seemed confused, only to shrug off the confusion and chase the canary, as the mallard carried the sleeping hare home. When he reached Bugs' burrow, he discarded the wig and boa to the floor, but didn't bother with the rest of the rabbit's clothes, just placing him in his bed. The duck turned to leave but was grabbed and pulled back into the bed by the dozing hare. Well, this should be an interesting night.

/

A/N ; Happy Late St. Patrick's Day! also late April Fools! this was supposed to be up last month, but the ending took forever


	10. Chapter 10

Petunia Pig, Penelope, Lola Bunny, and Melissa Duck strolled to the beach. The sky and ocean were both so blue, and Lola carried a basket. When the ladies reached a desirable spot, they set out some towels, sat down, and pulled out some pina coladas. Soon Tweety showed up.

''What are you doing?'' he asked.

''Just having a girls' day,'' answered Melissa.

''Am I invited?'' asked the canary.

The four females looked at each other in confusion, all with the same thought, 'Is Tweety a boy or a girl?'. Of course, I have already revealed that Tweety is male in this fic, by refering to him with masculine pronouns. But just because I know that, and you know that, and said bird knows that, does not mean everybody else in this fic knows that...yet. Regardless, the cat was the one to answer Tweety's question.

''Sure...''

The canary was handed a drink, that was almost the same size as him, when he noticed Penelope staring at him, with a look he found familiar, having seen said look on Sylvester, and several other cats as well.

''You know Tylvester called dibs,'' pointed out the small bird. This caused the rabbit to give a confused look to the duck, who was trying not to laugh. The tan bunny then pulled out a phone, making a call.

''Hey, Sylvester, did you really call dibs on Tweety?...I'm asking 'cause Tweety told Penelope-...Yeah, they're both here-''

''WHAT!?'' the male cat's voice was so loud, Lola's hair and ears flew back, and her eyes bugged out. She listened to him for a minute after his volume went down, then handed her phone to the female feline.

''He wants to talk to you.''

''Bonjour...Calm down...But I didn't...I didn't...But-...Don't you hiss at me!...Same to you, mon ami.'' She handed the phone to Tweety. ''He wants to talk to you.''

''Hewo...Oh hi Putty!...No, I'm fine...Yes...Yes, I'm sure, you don't have to come over...Ok...'' the yellow bird smirked, deciding to say something that would fluster Sylvester, ''Wuv you...Bye!'' When the canary hung up, he noticed his companions all staring at him, with dropped jaws. ''What?''


	11. Chapter 11

A/N : sequel to the last 2 chapters...this takes place the same day as ch. 10, which is also the day after ch. 9

...

It was the day after the party, and Daffy was still at Bugs' place...where they were still sleeping...in the same bed...when there was a sudden loud knocking, waking them both. The rabbit sat up and groaned, clearly hungover. Therefore the duck answered the hole, where he found the Roadrunner, Wile E. Coyote, and Sylvester crowded together.

''What?'' asked the mallard.

''We wanted to talk to Bugsth,'' answered the cat. ''...What are you doing here?''

''Never mind what I'm doing here! What did you want to talk about?''

''This,'' replied Wile, holding a paper to Daffy's face. The duck cheered up upon reading it, and insisted on calling Tweety to join them. Said bird was annoyed at having to leave the beach. As everybody entered the burrow, they noticed the bunny was still wearing the dress from the party, thereby recognizing him as the drunk lady the mallard left the party with, causing Roadie to beep a question.

''NO!'' yelled Daffy defensively.

''Daffy, keep it down!'' groaned the hare, and took a swig from a bottle of hot sauce. ''So what's dis about?'' he asked as the six of them sat at a table.

''Ok,'' started the duck ''I had thisth idea...for the next three chaptersth, the sthix of usth will sthtar in an ongoing theme!''

''What theme?'' inquired the coyote.

''Haven't decthided yet...What if we all lived in a mansthion? You could all work for me-''

''No,'' replied Wile and Bugs at the same time.

''What about a school setting?'' asked the rabbit.

''Meep meep meep meep.''

''A luau?'' translated the coyote, ''Really?''

''Hosthpital sthetting?'' suggested the feline.

''Piwats?'' asked Tweety.

''Middle Agesth!'' suggested Daffy, ''You know, wizardsth, knightsth, royalty...''

''Antient Egypt?'' the canary added.

''Sthportsth?'' asked the mallard.

''Gwadiators?''

''Prison-'' started Bugs only for Daffy to yell in his face.

''NO!''

After careful consideration of all the themes, the Roadrunner beeped an answer.

''Well, that settles that,'' agreed Wile.

...

A/N : so...anyone feel like voting for a theme?


	12. Chapter 12

A/N : Herr D ; thanks for the idea

...

Daffy strode on the ship, Tweety upon his shoulder, Sylvester clung to the railing, while Wile and the Roadrunner stood at attention. They all wore pirate garb, and a certain rabbit was nowhere to be seen.

''Ok crew,'' began the duck, ''asth captain-''

''Either I'm sthicker than I thought,'' interupted the seasick cat, ''or I sthaw a mermaid.''

''A mermaid?! Bring her onboard!'' exclaimed the mallard. The crew did so, only for Daffy to instantly recognize the mermaid as Bugs. ''You!?...Ok 'mermaid', where'sth the treasthure?''

''By that rock,'' answered the bunny. The crew found and brought up a treasure chest, which the duck opened excitedly, only to find-

''Carrotsth?!''

''Ain't I a stinker?'' asked the lagomorph playfully. The mallard pulled out a pistol, but Bugs simply hopped back into the water. Before any one could say anything else, the coyote anounced that they had reached land.

...

''Land!'' yelled Sylvester, relieved to be off the ship, while everyone ditched the pirate gear for leis, exept Tweety, who could not find any in his size. The canary landed on the cat, who stuck the little bird in his mouth, when the feline noticed Wile's eyes had grown to the size of dinnerplates. ''What?'' asked Sylvester, of course with his mouth open Tweety managed to escape, and decided to put a large flower on his head. Just then a female bunny who wasn't Lola walked over in a grass skirt and coconuts.

''Honey?'' Bugs asked in surprise.

''Just making a quick cameo,'' responded the lady rabbit, as she handed out coconut drinks and left. Everybody sipped at their beverages.

Just then the feline picked up the canary and droped him in a coconut, which the cat then drank from.

''Ok, time for the Middle Agesth,'' declared Daffy.

''But the luau is so relaxing,'' whined the coyote.

''And boring,'' added the duck, who held up a marble and threw it down, a puff of smoke encasing them all.

...

When the smoke cleared, Daffy was wearing a wizard robe, and holding a staff, the Roadrunner a wizard hat, Wile was in armor, Sylvester was dressed like a prince, and Tweety was in a fairy outfit made from the flower he had been wearing on his head. The cat and coyote soon noticed a princess, and started towards her, only for the duck to point out it was Bugs.

''Jealous?'' asked the bunny in a teasing manner.

''NO!'' yelled the mallard and canary defensively.

Suddenly the feline yowled in pain as he was poked by the canine's dagger.

''What wasth that for?'' asked Sylvester.

''You had Tweety in your mouth,'' answered Wile.

''Stho?''

''We always complain that we can't catch our respective birds, yet you had Tweety in your mouth, so at least you get to taste yours!''

The cat stared at the coyote, confused at his anger.

Just then, Roadie nipped the canine's ear, causing him to yelp. Now the peck did not hurt Wile, it just surprised him, but when he turned the land bird had zoomed off.

...

A/N : so the ongoing theme is jumping from theme to theme


	13. Chapter 13

''Ok, class,'' began Bugs, ''today-''

''Why are you the teacher?'' asked Wile. ''I'm the genius! And why is Daffy wearing-?...'' Yes, the group had gone for a school setting this time, complete with uniforms. But while the mammals excluding the bunny had sweatervests, shirts and shorts, the birds chose tops and skirts. The duck also wore a blonde wig, and was leaning back in his chair, legs crossed, looking very much like a diva who rules the school.

''Bugsth crossthdressthed twiceth in the lastht chapter, it'sth my turn,'' explained the mallard.

''Noting about my uniform?'' asked Tweety. For a while there was silence, but then Sylvester answered.

''Sthure, the sthkirtsth to short, I can sthee everything.''

''No you can't,'' denied the canary, only for the cat to pick the bird up over his head.

''Yesth I can!''

''Put Tweety down,'' ordered the rabbit. The feline did so.

''Bad ol' Puttytat,'' mumbled the canary as he blushed.

''Anyway-'' the lagomorph turned to the board to start the class only to once again be interupted, this time by a slurping noise. When Bugs looked back he saw that Sylvester had the yellow bird in his hands yet again, licking him. ''Sylvester!'' yelled the bunny, only to be distracted. ''Oh, the test scores are in.''

''But we didn't take a test,'' pointed out the coyote.

''Wile passed with flying colors.''

''Of course,'' the canine replied smugly.

''So did everyone else.''

''WHAT? HOW?'' asked a confused Wile. He then noticed Daffy handing a carrot to the rabbit. So that's how the duck passed, but that didn't explain the others- wait, there was no test! How could any of them pass?! And why wasn't the Roadrunner here?

...

Next thing anyone noticed, they were out of school and in jail. Sylvester was nowhere to be seen, but the Roadrunner had appeared, wearing an orange jumpsuit, as did Tweety and Daffy. The three birds sat at a table, while Bugs and Wile were dressed and acted as guards.

''There'sth sthomething going on...'' whispered the duck, ''...we didn't do anything.''

''Beep beep beep.''

''I don't care if you were really sthpeeding!''

''Wet's tart a wiot!''

''I don't think so,'' interupted the coyote, before closing his eyes to brag. ''I'm guarding, and not only am I smarter than you, I'm stronger-''

''Hay, Mister Perfect, there's an escapee,'' pointed out the bunny. And indeed, Roadie had dug a hole in the wall with a spoon, and zoomed out, with the canine leaping after him, only to miss the hole and crash into the wall.

...

When Wile came to, he noticed Sylvester, Daffy, and Tweety wearing white coats, a cute nurse who might be Bugs, and the Roadrunner was nowhere to be seen.

''How'sth the patient?'' asked the cat.

''He hit histh head chasthing Road,'' answered the duck.

''I've had worse,'' pointed out Wile.

''He needsth pillsth,'' decided the feline.

''I'd rather self-medicate,'' said the coyote.

''No, a shot,'' the mallard countered.

''You don't have a real medical degree,'' announced the canine

''Bandages,'' suggested the canary.

''My head's back to it's normal shape,'' declared Wile.

''Spongebath?'' asked the nurse. The coyote considered this one, before declining, only to suddenly be chased around the hospital by everyone.


	14. Chapter 14

''Finawy! Antient Egypt!'' exclaimed Tweety. Everyone looked around, soon noticing Sylvester was-

''Why doesth HE get to be the pharaoh?'' demanded Daffy.

''Because we're in Ancient Egypt, and he's a cat.'' Wile answered.

''But I wanted to be rich,'' complained the duck.

''I'm usthing thisth to my advantage for sthomthing elsthe,'' pointed out the feline, ''you can help yoursthelf to-''

''WOO-HOO!'' shouted the mallard, waving his arms around dangerously. Bugs managed to dodge, but the coyote got hit in the nose, causing him to see stars. The canine was then discreetly pulled away.

Daffy, meanwhile, was filling sacks with various jewels, while the Roadrunner looked around worriedly. When the duck was finished collecting gems, he approached the bunny and land bird. Roadie then beeped a question.

''No, we didn't sthee where Wile went,'' responded the mallard.

''Huh, where is he?'' wondered the rabbit aloud.

Just then the coyote in question stomped over, covered in strips of linen cloth.

''They tried to mummify me, thanks for noticing!'' announced the angry canine.

''We should get going,'' decided the hare.

''You go ahead,'' said Sylvester as he lounged on a throne, a certain canary in his hand, ''we'll catch up.''

...

A/N : only 1 theme this time, but it's the last 1


	15. Chapter 15

A/N : continued from last chapter

...

Sylvester and Tweety were wandering through the desert after the cat had finally decided to leave the last theme. But it had gotten late.

''We should of gone with everyone,'' pointed out the bird as the feline rolled his eyes. They were suddenly interrupted by loud meowing. ''Was that you?''

''No,'' answered Sylvester. He then grabbed and held the canary close in a protective manner. Soon they noticed a certain other cat, on all fours, her tail swishing. ''Penelope?''

''Sylvester,'' she greeted.

''Hi.''

''Tweety.'' Having acknowledged both travelers, she returned her attention to her paws, or rather, what she was holding. She suddenly stood up in pain, as a pink bird escaped from her.

''Orson?'' asked the yellow canary in surprise. The pink canary's response was to 'rescue' Tweety.

Just then they all noticed Wile E. Coyote placing down a plate piled high with bird seed. Wile then pulled out a box from Acme, opened it, and removed a portable hole. The coyote put it next to the plate, then finally saw the cats and birds.

''You should leave. I need to finish this trap, and hide before the Roadrunner gets here,'' explained the canine.

''Too late,'' responded the female feline.

The land bird was indeed there. After eating he looked up at Wile, who stared back. Just then, the blue feathered bird fell in the hole. The crested bird was surprised, for this kind of thing did not commonly happen. The coyote, meanwhile, was ecstatic, his tail wagging, and hands clasped together. But then the smaller birds lifted Roadie out of the hole and flew him away. The canine's tail and ears drooped, and he looked like he was about to cry.

The birds soon arrived at a grassy area, away from the predatory mammals.

''You don't usuawy fall for his twaps,'' pointed out Tweety, concern in his voice. The Roadrunner beeped an explanation.

''So what if you taw him?'' asked Orson.

''Meep...'' confessed Roadie, blushing.

''WHAT?!'' exclaimed the surprised canarys.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N : about the last chapter, Orson was not an OC, he was the prototype Tweety, and was eventually turned into his own character in an episode of 'Sylvester and Tweety Mysteries'

/

It was Halloween, and Bugs, Daffy, Sylvester, and Tweety had gone to a costume party. The rabbit went as a zombie, the duck as a witch, the cat as a prince and the little bird as a superhero. As it turns out, there was a costume contest, and soon a check for five hundred dollars was handed to the hare.

''That Bunny always wins,'' muttered the waterfowl, though to be fair, Bugs did dye his fur green. After winning, the lagomorph went to a cauldron to get a drink, as did the feline.

''Sly,'' started the bunny, ''your tail's on fire.''

''Oh,'' answered Sylvester calmly as he picked up his tail, saw the flame at the tip, then blew it out. A few hours later Daffy heard that the punch had been spiked, which the canary could confirm just by watching Bugs stumble around an unconscious cat. And so the mallard resigned himself to once again take the drunk rabbit home, for the second time in this fic.

''You know,'' slurred the hare, ''you make a preety cute witch.''

Tweety meanwhile looked at the dozing feline's face. After awhile the bird decided the mammal needed to leave the party, and so the canary dragged Sylvester out by the tail.

...

A/N : Happy day after Halloween!


	17. Chapter 17

Tweety was at Joe's Diner, reading the menu, when he heard a familiar voice.

''Hello, Breakfastht!''

''Hi Putty,'' responded the bird as he batted his eyes. He then flew away from the cat, to join the Roadrunner, who had just run in.

Sylvester sat, drowning his sorrows with milk, when Wile busted in.

''There's been a diner here this whole time!?'' the coyote complained angrily, before sitting next to the feline, checking the menu, his tail wagging as he was suddenly in a good mood. Just then, Lola Bunny walked in.

''Hey!'' she shouted, ''I just won five hundred dollars! Milkshakes for everyone!'' Lola indeed bought the milkshakes, and still had cash left over, for they weren't that expensive, plus the only patrons at the diner at that moment were the two birds and two male mammals. The bunny then went to the bar to sit with Wile and Sylvester, although she would have preferred if they all sat toghether, but was aware that might not end so well. She would of sat with the birds, but they were already having a conversation. Besides, she didn't understand Roadie.

''Thosth birdsth are consthpiring againstht usth, I know it,'' muttered Sylvester as he looked up from his milkshake. The female attempted to quell his paranoia.

''Oh, I'm sure they just-''

''BRAINFREEZE!'' yelled Wile suddenly. He then put his head on the counter to cry, causing the feline to stare worridly.

''You sthure you don't want my therapistht'sth number?'' asked the cat, which only made the canine growl in response, causing Sylvester to let out a nervous meow. The canary and land bird watched the exchange from their table, Tweety with some concern, while the crested bird simply found it entertaining. The yellow bird turned back to the Roadrunner in order to resume their conversation.

''How did you fall for that?''


	18. Chapter 18

Penelope, Marvin, and Porky stood in a group. They were at a Sweater/Secret Santa party. The cat wore a snug white sweater, the pig, a tan one with a bowtie. They both had a glass of champagne. The martian, meanwhile, was bored and annoyed, mostly because his red sweater was extreamly oversized, making it hard to hold anything. Elmer Fudd was also at the party, with a tan turtleneck and his own glass of bubbly, which he dropped upon hearing a familiar phrase.

''What's up, Doc?''

The man turned to see Bugs in a black sweater, smiling innocently.

''Wabbit.''

Sylvester then went over with a bag filled with names to pick, wearing a yellow sweater. Penelope, Porky, Marvin, and Bugs all looked rather pleased with the names they got. Elmer, on the other hand, looked confused, while the male feline had an unreadable expression on his face.

''Who's Cawow?'' asked the hunter.

''The new girl,'' answered the bunny. Elmer looked even more confused, so the lagomorph elaborated. ''She hangs out with Foghorn sometimes.''

''Oh, hew.''

Soon after the party, everyone went shopping. Elmer was looking through a book store. Bugs was examining some scarves. Porky was in a bakery, as was the female cat, but a different one. Marvin was looking at large space flowers. The rabbit had gone to a new store, and was considering a coffee mug. The bunny then went to another store, where, as soon as he walked in, he won a prize, consisting of a thousand dollars, six blocks of gold, a mini hottub, and three diamond encrusted model rockets. Sylvester was holding a lump of coal, snikering to himself, but decided to consider other gift ideas, and found a bottle of soap. In a nearby jewelry store, Porky was examining earrings, while Marvin did the same with necklaces, and Sylvester had found a tiny sweater. Penelope was looking at cologne. The pig soon found a brush. The male feline was considering a fuzzy ribbon. Soon everybody had gotten something and went home, waiting for the next party, where they could give the gifts.

...

A/N : can you guess who they're shopping for?


	19. Chapter 19

Sylvester was walking in the snow, wearing a hat and jacket, holding a gift, and the hand of his son, who was wearing a matching hat and jacket as his father.

''Father, why are we spending Christmas at a hotel?''

'''Causthe we voted.''

''Whose 'we'?''

''...I don't know.''

The cats soon arrived at the hotel, where they helped themselves to hot chocolate. Eventually Bugs arrived with a gift, and Hippety Hopper, and they also got hot chocolate.

''Father,'' started the kitten, ''the giant mouse is staring at me.''

''Sly, you didn't tell your son Hip's a kangaroo?'' asked the rabbit.

''You're a kangaroo?'' asked the young feline. The marsupial nodded. ''My life is a lie.''

Next to arrive was Pepe Le Pew, followed by Penelope, who at the bunny's suggestion gave her gift to Pepe early. Said gift was a bottle of cologne, which Sylvester and Bugs insisted the skunk use immediately. The next guest was Marvin, who arrived in time for dinner. Meanwhile the French couple was under the mistletoe, not that they needed an excuse to kiss. Around this time Queen Tyr'ahnee arrived. Junior and Hippety were helping themselves to the dessert table. Soon Wile showed up. A few minutes later the kangaroo went to bed. Then Elmer arrived, followed by the Roadrunner. And despite the fact that not everyone was there yet, Pepe and Penelope went to their room early.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N : continued from last chapter

/

Wile and the Roadrunner were drinking hot chocolate. Just then Petunia showed up. A few minutes later Marvin gave Tyr'ahnee a gift, which turned out to be a giant space flower. At this time Tweety arrived. The coyote gave Sylvester a book. Daffy entered, and was immediately given a gift from Bugs. It was a briefcase full of Monopoly money. At this time Junior was finally sent to bed. Soon Porky showed up. Sylvester then gave Tweety a sweater, which the canary suspected had a tracking device, but wore it any ways. And Porky gave Petunia earrings. Just then it was noticed that the Martians were under the misletoe, so after a quick explanation they kissed. Then Carol finally showed up, so Elmer gave her a book.

Tweety was on Sylvester's hand when he noticed something.

''Putty, wook up.'' When the cat did so he jumped, for they were under the mistletoe.

...

The next day was Christmas, so Hippety and Junior rushed to the tree and opened presents, consisting of plushies, hula hoops, and baseball bats, oh my!...Sorry, had to.

/

A/N : MERRY EARLY CHRISTMAS!


	21. Chapter 21

A cruise ship had just set sail, it's passengers making their way to the rooms, saunas, spas, resturaunts and bars. Among it's guests were Daffy, Bugs, Lola, Tweety and Sylvester. They had barely been walking for a minute when the cat's face suddenly turned green, causing him to rush to his room. Lola watched, then adressed the small bird that was perched on her hand.

''If he gets seasick, why'd he come?''

''Cuz I came,'' answered the canary with a smirk.

...

Three minutes later Tweety snuck into Sylvester's room, pushing a bottle of seasickness medication towards the cat. The feline grabbed the bottle and took a few sips. Upon feeling better he caught the surprised canary.

''Ingwate,'' muttered the bird after he got over his shock.

...

Later Sylvester and Tweety joined the rabbits and Daffy at the bar, where everyone ordered milk, except for Bugs, who was checking a drink menu.

''I wonder if they have carrotinis?'' the male lagomorph thought aloud, causing the duck next to him to drop his drink, turn and grab the grey bunny by the shoulders.

''THERE'STH NO STHUCH THING ASTH CARROTINISTH!'' the waterfowl yelled in the hare's face.

/

A/N : I am so sorry I haven't updated in months, things came up...also, starting with this chapter, there is now an ongoing plot!


	22. Chapter 22

A/N : sorry it took so long to update...again

Flor Aguirre ; yes, I am still publishing the comic version of this on Deviantart.

...

Bugs, Daffy and Lola were in the bar again, drinking root beer, when they heard a loud crash. They left to investigate, taking the drinks with them. The trio soon found the room that was the source of the noise, opened the door, and looked on in confusion at what they saw. Sylvester was tangled up in rope, with a ball in his mouth. And Tweety was covered in whipped cream. The cat and canary then realized they were being watched, turning slightly to face the onlookers. Everyone continued to stare for two minutes, before the duck and rabbits all turned over their bottles, draining them of their contents, having come to the conclusion that something had been slipped into all their beverages that caused them to hallucinate. When that didn't make what they were seeing go away, they turned, and silently made their way to the promanade deck. After getting the feline untangled, the small bird and said cat ran to catch up with the others.

''It's not what it wooked wike!'' yelled Tweety. Just then the ship was rocked by multiple waves. Lola grabbed onto the railing while the boat went up and down, and back and forth, and side to side. When the sea was calm again, she looked up, and realized the other four had fallen overboard! She could see them floating in the water, so she rushed to throw them a life preserver, only to realize it did not have a rope to pull it back up with. Regardless, Bugs, Daffy, Sylvester and Tweety all took a hold of the flotation device.

''Don't worry,'' yelled the tan bunny, ''I'll-'' Just then another large wave crashed by, and suddenly she could see no one on the ocean. Her eye twitched. ''-find you...'' she finished saying.


	23. Chapter 23

Melissa stood at the dock, ready to greet Lola as she exited the ship.

''Hi, Lola, how was the cruise?'' asked the lady duck, before mumbling under her breath, ''That I didn't get to go on.''

''BUGS, DAFFY, SYLVESTER AND TWEETY ALL FELL OVERBOARD!'' the bunny yelled in the bird's face, then quickly explained that she was gathering supplies to search for them at sea.

''Would you like some help?''

''Sure,'' answered the blonde. ''Hey, Wile,'' she called to the passing coyote, ''did you hear about-''

''Everyone in a four mile radius heard you,'' quipped the canine.

''Oh,'' responded the female mammal. ''So, you think you could help?''

''...No...'' answered the self proclaimed genius, causing the rabbit to pout angrily.

''I meant I could help,'' explained Melissa. Suddenly the Roadrunner showed up beeping. ''That's nice,b-''

''What'd he say?''

''He said he could help, b-''

''Great!''

''I've changed my mind,'' Wile declared, ''I'll help.''

''Great, everyone grab a box and load the boat,'' ordered Lola, as she and Roadie got a head start, while the duck took the coyote aside to talk.

''You're sudden desire to help wouldn't have anything to do with the Roadrunner volunteering on a small boat with nowhere to run or hide, would it?'' asked the water fowl. The male mammal didn't respond, instead opting to help with loading the boat. Melissa pulled her hair into a ponytail before grabbing a box, eyeing the genius suspiciously.

...

A few minutes after the boat went to sea the Roadrunner let out a frantic ''Meep''.

''What's wrong?'' asked Wile. He stood in surprised silence as the bird held out a leek. ''Seriously?'' They burst out laughing, until Lola popped up behind them.

''WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!'' she yelled, causing a spooked Roadie to jump onto an equally startled coyote.

/

A/N : a little off topic, but I am holding a poll for what my next fanfic should be, if you would check my profile and see which you might be interested in, and vote...the poll ends Nov. 13


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